Текст песни «B. - Battle Of Astings»

THE BATTLE OF 'ASTINGS

Stanley Holloway


I'll tell of the Battle of 'astings,
as 'appened in days long gone by,
When William became King of England
and 'arold got shot in the eye.

'Twere like this: one day in October
King William, who were always a toff,
And 'aving no bets on at the moment,
'ad given 'is lads a day off.

They'd all taken votes to go fishing,
When someone in the Conqueror's ear,
Said, "Eh, let's go put breeze up Saxons."
Said Bill, "Dah, gum, 'at's an idear."

So turning around to his sodjers,
And lifting his great Nordic voice,
Said, " 'ands up who's going to England,"
What were swank, as they 'adn't no choice.

So they set sail about teatime,
The weather was calm and so still
'at quarter to ten the next morning
'ey landed at a place called Beck's Hill.

When 'arold 'ad saw that they'd landed,
'e came up with venom and hate,
Saying, "If you've come 'ere for regatta,
You've come 'ere just six weeks too late."

But William arose cool and haughty,
And said, "I'll 'ave none of your cheek,
And by the way, get your throne reupholstered,
I'll be wanting to use it next week."

It were a beautiful day for a battle,
The Normans set off with a will,
And when they'd all duly assembled,
They tossed for the top of the 'ill.

'arold, 'e won the advantage,
On 'illtop 'e took up 'is stand,
With 'is knaves and 'is cads all around 'im,
On 'is 'orse, with 'is 'awk in 'is 'and.

Kickoff was sharp at 2:30,
And as soon as the whistle 'ad went
Both sides started banging each other,
Till the swineherds could 'ear 'em in Kent.

'arold 'ad best line of forwards,
Well armed with buckler and sword,
But Normans 'ad best combination,
So when 'alftime come neither 'ad scored.

Then Bill called 'is cohorts together,
And said, "Let's pretend that we're beat,
And when we get Saxons on level,
We can cut off their means of retreat."

So they ran and the Saxons ran after,
Just exactly as William 'ad planned,
Leaving 'arold alone on the 'illtop,
On 'is 'orse, with 'is 'awk in 'is 'and.

When William 'ad saw what 'ad 'appened,
'is bow and 'is arrow 'e drew,
'E went straight up to 'arold and shot 'im,
--'E were offside, but what could they do?

Then Normans turned round with a fury,
And gave back both parry and thrust,
Till battle were all over bar shouting,
And you couldn't see Saxons for dust.

And after the battle were over,
There, sitting so stately and grand,
Was 'arold, with eyeful of arrow,
On 'is 'orse, with 'is 'awk in 'is 'and.

from sondra stigen, 1984
@recitation @war @royalty @England
filename[ BTTLHAST
DC
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