Тексты песен «Dane Cook»

If you shaved your beard, and put on a dress, you'd be a great female impersonator And if you win this contest, we will have failed Don't mean to be rude, but you look like the Hulk's wife Simon said Simon said The...

We never had a pool, right. So one summer, I remember. My dad, to make me happy. You know I was bummed out cause we didn't have the pool. So one summer he bought us this thing. It was yellow, you layed it on the lawn,...

Here’s another way to be remembered, again, this one is more personal, it’s more for you because nobody is ever going to know that it was you... but you’ll know, and that’s all that matters...

Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I've always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car. Nailed, this guy got hit right in the hip. That's your center of...

We laugh, but we love violence in this country we like violence. We have those little violent tendencies. Im not the only person, I know your like me when you see somebody walking down the street Wearing a Superman...

I wish I had some superpowers. I was thinking about that the other day. Maybe quit comedy, fight some crime. Everybody wants to fly. That's the number one power. If I could grant you a power, "Dane, I'd love to fly."...

Am i the only person here who loves to watch a couple together that hates each others guts? That has to be the most entertaining thing when you see two people that just hate each other ..together, and look we've all...

Did you see that clip they were like showing the other day on uh ESPN or whatever. They were showing like the best crazy accidents or something. It was like the best of the worst car you know like. They showed this...

Then get this right? I'm driving along man I'm driving as I'm driving, I'm driving safely. I'm obeying the rules..of the road. Whatever sign comes at me I look at it and I go ..Ok. you got it, sign. Right so I'm driving...

I gotta tell you this, 'cause I always wanted to share this with a crowd. This is a story, it's a coming of age tale. And it's about the first time I ever got head. Come on along with me. I'll never forget this, I was...

There's certain ways that people when they bite it and they show it on the new... you laugh. Like who gets killed by bees?! Anytime they come on the news like, "A man in Austin was killed by bees." I just fucking...