Тексты песен «Ivor Biggun»

The reason I'm not athletic Isn't just my muscles or feet Or lack of co-ordination Or reluctance to compete I must confess it's more the way The blokes in the showers all cackle And point at me when I display My...

My sister is called Mabel She washes once a year She wears a braclet on her wrist And an earring on her ear 'g on her ear, 'g on her ear, 'g on her ear, 'g on her ear 'g on her ear, 'g on her ear, 'g on her ear She...

"Ladies and gentlemen... thank you... we proudly present, live form the Kharzie-Au-Go-Go, Wapping, the incomparable Judge Dread and the incompetent Ivor Biggun Take it away lads..." "Good evening Mr. Biggun" "Good...

Bra size fourty-five, Bra size fourty-five Bra size fourty-five, Bra size fourty-five Well I went out for a boogie, a week ago last Tuesday I was doing the Wigan Hustle and the Palais Glide I met a girl in big...

Cats on the rooftops Cats on the tiles Cats with s*philis Cats with piles Cats with their a*se'oles Wreathed in smiles As they revel in the joys of f*rnication Now the donkey is a lonely moke He very rarely has a poke...

The naughty bits of pretty girls Have tufty corners kinks and curls But the p*bes of my girl Dorothee Stretch from her belly-button to her knee The general effect of her p*bic area Resembles Bigfoot's b*m, but hairier...

I had a large explosive sh*t Down by the riverside It spread both far and wide It filled my heart with pride I sh*t 'til my a*se'ole split Down by the riverside The fish and the tadpoles died And I ain't a-gonna swim...

Hello My Baby Hello Hello my baby, hello my honey Hello my ragtime gal Send me a kiss by wire Baby my heart's on fire If you refuse me Honey, you'll lose me Then you'll be left alone Oh baby, telephone And...

"The man they call the Pharoah of Filth The man they call the Maestro of M*sturbation The man with the stickiest handshake in Croydon this evening... Mr. Ivor Biggun" "Croydon I love you. Good evening Croydon! I'm in...

I have a dog his name is Rover Oh my goodness! I have a dog his name is Rover Ee by gum! I have a dog his name is Rover When he sh*ts he sh*ts all over Sh*t all 'round the room, me boys Sh*t all 'round the room I have...

I'm looking over my dead dog Rover That I hit with a power mower One leg is missing the other is gone One leg is scattered all over the lawn No use complaining, the one leg remaining Is spinning on the car-port floor...

W*nker! W*nker! Ivor Biggun is my name W*nking is my claim to fame To hit the bathroom ceiling is my aim A week ago last tuesday I got just above the window frame If you look carefully you can see the stain I'm going...

My baby loves my Yorkshire pudding And that's all right with me She knows my puddin' is a good 'un 'Cause it stretches down to my knee When it starts steaming You can hear her shout "Ooh I love it with the gravy running...

Mary had a little lamb She tied it to a pylon Ten thousand volts Shot up it's a*se And turned it's wool to nylon Little Jack Horner sat in the corner Caressing his c*ck and his balls Along came his mum And shouted "By...

In a gentleman's ur*nal, on the night before cup final I saw two sailors standing bold as brass And their conduct was disgusting 'cause one of them was thrusting Three fingers up the other fellow's a*se I said "I'm not...

"Can you 'ear me mother?' "Some bloke come up to me and 'e said 'I'm a w...ank" "When I'm cleanin' windows" "He winked his ass'ole in and out He made his balls inflate 'Til they resembled the giant globes That stand at...

Down in the jungle, ten million years B.C. Was a big sweaty caveman in a coconut tree He had two sticks and he said "It's my conviction I can make fire if I use a little friction" He rubbed and he rubbed Then he started...

In far Switzerland Lives a goatherd who's hand Has a palm that is calloused and worn From his idle vice Despite mum's advice Not to play with his old alpine horn When he stuck his c*ck In a large cuckoo clock His...

A mathematician from Scunthorpe Discovered the weight of his ball Plus his scr*tum times three Was approximately Two thirds of four fifths of f*ck all A nineteen year old nymphomaniac Wore a bog-paper dress to a ball...

I saw the splendour of the moonlight On Honolulu bay There's something tender in the moonlight On Honolulu bay And all the beaches Are full of peaches Who bring their ukes along And in the glimmer of the moonlight They...