Тексты песен «George Carlin»

This is something you can do for practical...humor. Do this on television; if you can get into a kind of a side of a television story where there maybe covering a tragedy and a lot of people are going "Hey, Willie!" You...

Like to take a look at the news. Terrorists blow up Central America and leave a note. A Philadelphia man was arrested today for attempting to make an unauthorized deposit in a sperm bank. Silent film star Mark Dunbar...

Thank you, thank you, welcome to our show. Don't you think it's just a little bit strange that Ronald Reagan had an operation on his asshole and George Bush had an operation on his middle finger. Huh? Huh? What are...

Did you notice there aren't many Chinese guys named Rusty? Guess the name never caught on over there. But you got here, did you all come in the same van by any chance? You know, there's a feeling of unity, y'know...

We have also met on the AM radio dial. Especially in the middle of it. On the large radios, all of the zeroes are there. 700 (makes 'radio tuning' noises)..800. On small radios it says 6...Con o rad...7,8,9,10,11,.....

Ohhh, some people don't like you to talk like that. Ohh, some people like to shut you up for saying those things. You know that. Lots of people. Lots of groups in this country want to tell you how to talk. Tell you what...

When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has...

Got into an argument this morning with my Rice Krispies. I distinctly heard- "Snap, Crackle, F..ck Him". I don't know which one of them said it, y'know. I was reaching for the artificial sweetener at the time and was...

But you know, the longer you listen to this abortion debate, the more you hear this phrase "sanctity of life". You've heard that. Sanctity of life. You believe in it? Personally, I think it's a bunch of shit. Well,...

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I love words. I thank you for hearing my words. I want to tell you something about words that I think is important. They're my work, they're my play, they're my passion. Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts...

You've been listening to the erotic daydreams of an infant worm being sucked backwards through a French milking machine Remember, hire the handicapped- but don't let them take your rectal temperature. Stay tuned now...

F Am Setiap saat bayang slalu hadir menerpa A# C F Walau pikiranmu slalu dipenuhi kebohongan F Am Namun semua membuatku sangat suka A# C F Karena semua beban berat tak kurasakan A# Am Dm Rasa itu selalu ada dalam...

(Carlin:) Hello, I'm Bud from Bud's Medical Center. Come on out to Bud's. We're having a special this weekend on head injuries. Any sort of head injury from a black eye to a whole caved-in skull is just $1.50 this...

Well I know, some people don't like you to talk about those things. I know that. Some people don't like you to mention certain things. Some people don't want you to say this. Some people don't want you to say that. Some...

Here's another idea. I'm going to save you a whole lot of money on prisons, but at the same time we are still going to remove from society many of our more annoying citizens. Four groups are going away permanently...

Me and my friend, Billy Heeney..we're about the same y'know I'm 37. It was about 10 years ago; we were about...27, y'know? And we were hanging around in the bar where we grew up. And so we were talking to each other,...

George Carlin FM And AM The Hair Piece One of the things that occurred when I began to uh, y'know, feel some changes happening to me... naturally, I was kinda still entertaining in gin joints, y'know- I realize they...

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less. We buy more, but enjoy it less. We have bigger houses and...

We're so self-important. So self-important. Everybody's going to save something now. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. What? Are...