Тексты песен «Larry The Cable Guy»

What the crap you gay saaannnty claus. you get on my pissing nerve. Every Christmas night while im drinking my millwalke. I hear some damn noise on my hose top. So you fag stay away from house. and if you dont ill beat...

Last Christmas I went up in niceville, for a little vacation,and ah, boy I love Shania Twain, boy I tell you what,she makes me hornier than a retard watchin' baywatch, but anyway I read her letter in the hotel room I...

blue balls, blue balls, it is doller night at the titty club see them dance, on my pants, soon it will be, bathroom...

Call the doctor Earl is bleeding Tried to pet my pit bull Sam That stupid Moron he knows better Now he's in the doctors office And he ain't got no fricken...

Get a job, you bum bum bum bum money dont grow on trees, you bum bum bum bum, Silent Farts, Deadly Farts, All was calm, Not for long, Oh come on ye little forner C ome and get them green cards And learn some damn...

Come all yee illegal Imigrants Come and get them green cards And learn some damn English And then how to...

Some girl's banging on my door the other day at four o'clock in the morning. I was like, "What in the world?" You know? So I got up and let her out. Tell you what, I was madder than Janet Reno's blind date. I met this...

Get a job you bum bum bum Money dont grow on trees you bum bum bum. Silent farts Deadly farts All was calm Not turned on Oh come on illegal foreigners Come and get dem green cards And learn some damn english And...

Donny the Retard had a 8 pound water head he was 5 foot 3 and he said to me "i like tater tots". "i like tater tots" may be changed to "my name's Donny" Its actually "I like...

This is the story of the first Thanksgiving, once again by my drunk grandpa: Many years ago...Christopher Columbus and his pilgrim buddies come to America on a boat called the Mayflower to live because the English King...

You better watch out, I think she's a guy, I'm not quite sure, But somethin ain't right... Hilary Clinton's Coming to...

Thank you! Appreciate it! Git-R-Done! But it's good to be here, I tell you. When I come in here this evening and see my name out front in magic marker, boy I tell you what. Daggone. I made the big times now. Haha. Tears...

I PISSED MY PANTS THE TOILET WAS JUST TO FAR I DRUNK TOO MUCH DAMN BEER I TRIED TO HOLD IT IN BUT MY BLADDER JUST GAVE IN AND I PISSED RIGHT THROUGH MY DRAWERS RIGHT THROUGH MY WRANGLER DRAWERS I PISSED I PISSED RIGHT...

I shit my pants,the toilet was just too far,I had too much of them beans.I tried to hold it in,but my sphincter just gave in,so i shit right through my drawers,right through my wrangler drawers, I shit, I shit, right...

I Wish My Mother-In-Law'd Get Hit By A Car I Wish My Mother-In-Law'd Get Hit By A Car I Wish My Mother-In-Law'd Get Hit By A Car So I wouldnt have to listen to her......

You ever go to a drive-in movie, start drinking, get drunk, pass out in your car, and the next morning you're part of flea market? Then you feel bad, you ain't got nothing to sell up there, you know. All the Mexicans...

I always get really irritated when you go out to eat, and stuff, you know. I took this girl out to eat a while back, we had a nice place. I rolled the window up and the tray fell off, and, uh, she's like, "You got...

On the first night in the titty club, We was checking out all the chicks. There was black ones and whites ones, brunettes and blondes, Look at the size of that red heads tits. The first girl I tipped was as flat as...

Woo! Somebody done been to the WalMart Man, this is the stuff I got for Christmas Well you cleaned up, whatcha get? 5 flannel shirts, 4 big mud tires 3 shot gun shells, 2 huntin' dogs And some parts to a Mustang GT...

POOP, I LOVE MY POOP LASAGNE. IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME, I LOVE MY POOP LASAGNE. MIXED IN, IT'S ALL CRAP, CRAP CRAP CRAP FOR ME, BEING THAT RAP IS CRAP, HEY! THERE'S MY POOP LASAGNE. ALWAYS IT HAS BEEN THERE FOR ME,...